4:00 am.

I wake up to the sound of a mosquito whining loudly around my head. I proceed to slap myself in the face for the following 5 seconds before realizing that my attempts are likely futile. I grab the phone, turn the flashlight on, promptly blind myself, and when my eyes finally adjust start scanning the room for the little bugger that stole my DNA. There he is, on the wall right next to me. SMACK. I scan the room 3 times more in anticipation of another enemy waiting to pounce on my flesh. Room received an all-clear. I turn off the light, look at the time (4:20) put my head down, and go back to sleep.


4:22 am.

Carter starts whining. Whining turns to cries. Cries turn to screams. All within a matter of 30 seconds. I jolt up and come to his room. Using our special routine I manage to get him calm and he starts to sleep again. I sit on the couch in the living room for a couple minutes just to make sure. I start to nod off.


4:35 am.

Death screams alert me to Carter’s room yet again. Start the process again, but this time it’s not working. At all. I angrily pick him up and take him to the kitchen, because now that he’s awake he’s obviously hungry. Banana? Nope. Cereal? Nope. Nutella? Not even. (side note: I don’t typically feed my kid Nutella.) I got nothing. Emily wakes up and comes into the kitchen, opens the freezer, gives him a few frozen peas. In the mouth, instant quiet, done.  I sigh and sit in a chair, defeated.


5:04 am.

Carter now fully awake decides it’s time to eat more than peas. Since we’re both awake we just start breakfast and begin the day. Two hours before we usually start it.


5:30 am.

Yo Gabba Gabba on youtube. Click. Emily and I do our best to pass out on the couch with Carter alertly watching Muno, Snatchee, and Jar Jar or whatever their names are. Church is at 9, which means we leave at 7:45 to get there on time. I can’t do it on 4.5 hours of sleep, so I’ll take what I can get.


6:30 am.

Emily takes a shower. Carter is quiet for about a minute, then goes DEFCON 4 and tries his hardest to break into the bathroom. I do everything I can to entertain him, from reading books to kicking the 15 or so balloons we’ve got rolling around the floor to tickling to nothing at all. No dice. I’m at wit’s end, and the neighbors below us are very clearly going to be pleased with this excitement at this hour of the morning. Finally the RIGHT book calms him down. Thank goodness for that.


7:00 am

Em is out of the shower and Carter’s chasing her around. She opens windows since it’s like 85 degrees fahrenheit inside the house and, seeing a beautiful sunrise, tries to convince me to see it. I grunt.  I’m supposed to be getting ready but I decide to start writing here instead. Why? I dunno.  Still trying to figure that out. Either way, I should probably put some clothes on now.